Godparenting: an honor but also a responsibility

As teenagers, both Peter and Lindy Henning were honored to serve as a godparent at the baptisms of family members but were largely unaware of the true responsibility each was taking on.

Now, more mature in their faith, married and parents themselves, the couple – members of St. Peter Parish in Omaha – are godparents to numerous children and now-young adults, and more fully understand their duties, striving to seriously live out their commitment to spiritually support their godchildren.

Lindy and Peter Henning

“As people learn how to put Christ more at the center of their hearts, the responsibility of being a godparent becomes more important,” Peter said. “I don’t think everybody understands – I certainly didn’t fully understand – the gravity, the responsibility, but also the opportunity that we have.

“It starts by being a witness,” Lindy said, “… inviting our godkids into living out life as a Catholic.”

“You’re taking an oath, and it’s making you think about your own faith,” Peter said. “When you’re responsible for somebody else, it puts a different perspective on it.”

MORE THAN A CEREMONIAL ROLE

Father James de Anda – judicial vicar for the Archdiocese of Omaha who is in residence at St. Stanislaus Parish in south Omaha – explained that serving as godparent is much more than a ceremonial or honorary role, but involves a promise to assist parents in providing proper catechesis and spiritual formation for the child.

“It’s really about helping the parents to ensure that the child is growing up in an environment that is truly Catholic, an environment in which the child is aware of the Catholic religion and the promises that are made, through the parents, to embrace Christ and the Church.

“It could mean praying with the child, being an example to the child, emulating what it means to be a good Christian, a good practicing Catholic,” he said.

“So, it’s not just by word, but also by example, to give that kind of instruction to the child.”

To serve as a godparent one must be at least 16 years old and should be mature enough to understand their duties, Father de Anda said. One also must have received the Sacraments of Initiation – Baptism, Confirmation and Eucharist – to have been married in the Church if married, and to be living a life of virtue and grace, actively practicing the faith according to the teachings of the Catholic Church. One must not have any canonical issues, such as excommunication or defection from the Church.

IMPORTANCE OF RELATIONSHIP

Being an influence in the faith life of a godchild depends upon a close relationship and regular involvement with the child and the family, Father de Anda said.

That has been true for John and Mary Dickinson, also members of St. Peter Parish. Years ago, as members of a young adult Bible study group, they formed close relationships with couples that continue to this day. Many of those couples chose the Dickinsons to be godparents to their children.

Mary and John Dickinson

Maintaining relationships with their godchildren often happens at gatherings of those families, John said, and when attending their First Communions, Confirmations, graduations and other special events.

“We’ve been really blessed over the last 25 years of marriage to have so many good friends and our lives to be intertwined with each other with the ribbon of faith tying us together,” he said. “Being godparents has been part of that experience.”

STEPPING UP

At times, a godparent may need to have the courage to “step up and say something” if the child’s spiritual formation or practice of the faith are in question, Father de Anda said.

“The role of godparents really comes into play if parents are neglectful (in teaching or living the faith), so the godparents are really guarantors of the instruction that is promised … at the moment of Baptism.”

“When this is seriously lacking, godparents are bound to step in, to remind and to assist the child in maturing in the faith,” he said.

For godchildren whose parents may no longer be Catholic, or for godchildren who have left the faith, prayer becomes paramount, Lindy Henning said. “I pray a lot for those godchildren.”

Although she and her husband give Christmas and birthday gifts to their godchildren, it’s the prayers for all of them that are the most valuable gifts, she said.

Both couples acknowledge the important role they play as godparents.

“It’s not just that we’ve signed a piece of paper,” Peter Henning said. “We actually have a special place in that child’s salvation story.”

“It’s been a huge privilege to be a part of so many lives and so many vocations and the future of the Church,” Mary Dickinson said, “because, little by little, each one of these kids that we take to prayer and we have Masses said for, the graces are going to go forth out into the world, and so all of those future families and vocations are going to be affected if we can hold up our end.”